When you're a parent you find yourself saying things that no sane person should ever have to say.
- Calvin, stop balancing your grilled cheese on your head.
- Calvin, bubbles are to play with, not to drink.
- Calvin, please don't pee on mommy's pillow
You also find yourself rejoicing over the most ridiculous things.
- A meal in which no food is thrown.
- "He said "poopy" today!!"
- A day free of banshee-esque tantrums
But I think these things are perks of the job. I mean what other profession can lay claim to more bizarre or hilarious happenings than parenthood? In reality parenthood encompasses all professions, including, but not limited to:
Circus performer (I will throw a pie in daddy's face if you'll just take a bite of your dinner), Exorcist (Skeptical? You've never seen a 2 year old who has just been denied a second episode of Barney)
Referee (Illegal biting during playgroup, 10 minute time out, and if that kid needs a tetanus shot we're taking it out of your snack funds.).
I tend to see outward physical things as manifestations of severe internal flaws. For example, when I look in the mirror and see someone who can't seem to keep the extra weight off I internalize this to mean that I'm not as worthwhile as someone who is thin. If my house is messier than usual one day (or week or month) I'm a horrible wife and mother who must not love her family enough to clean.
In reality my weight has no bearing on my character and the cleanliness of my house has nothing to do with the amount of love in my heart. Could the extra weight mean I'm not as committed as someone who is thin? Sure. Could the messy house mean I needed to manage my time better? Sure, but that's a far cry from not being a worthy or valuable individual. It sounds so ridiculously obvious when put into perspective, and as a woman with raging postpartum hormones I needed a little perspective today so thanks to this article for getting me thinking a bit this evening :)
Nicole, I loved this.
ReplyDeleteOh the joys of raising a toddler. Some of my most favorite "sayings" of late are: "we don't touch our poop" (when Lee gets a diaper change) and "we don't slap momma on the face". Currently my rejoicing sounds something like, "Kevin, Lee went upstairs by himself today and emptied all our bathroom cupboards and my closet, and was happy...by HIMSELF!!!"
I've been thinking about what that article said and why it's so hard for us to feel good at this postpartum time of glory:) And I think, at least for me, part of why it's hard is because being overweight or messy or whatever in the course of my "normal person" life was usually at least partially a result of me not making wise choices, or trying to be healthy or organized, etc...
The value set of the world in general right now absolutely does not help any either.
At this stage (postpartum), it's the result of a very different circumstance, one that truly is, what I believe to be my highest priority: mother-ing. In the literal and 'work description' sense of the word. Not only did you just give birth to a child: and thus no matter how prepared you are, you are a mother. Also in the parenting aspect. That the care of the physical, mental and spiritual welfare of this tiny person(s) is completely your responsibility. When they are young you SHOULD show some physical repercussions of all that pregnancy, giving birth and raising a newborn entails.
So, here's to trying to celebrate the outward signs of such an incredible opportunity.
It really is about training my brain to think differently, to value things differently. I should ALLOW myself to embrace everything about motherhood even the clutter of toys, the drawers and cupboards that get emptied and the mealtime messes because these are signs of happy and healthy kids and that is what I want. I have recently started to enjoy when Calvin gets really messy. He layed in the gutter this week and dumped bubbles down his shirt, and dripped popsicle all over his tummy and in general had a GREAT time doing it, and I had a great time watching him. I also have been letting him play in the rain and he loves that too. I need to let the happiness of family life wipe away the petty stresses I place on myself.
DeleteNicole, you are an amazing woman who takes after a mother who also likes to beat herself up. :) I have never had a clean house. It's seldom filthy, but it's rarely clean. I find that if I want a clean house, I have to spend all day, every day cleaning, and I don't want to spend my life like that. Now, I do believe that there are some women who have a talent for keeping a house clean and they don't spend their lives doing it--specifically our dear Michelle's (previous comment) mom. I admire her for that, but I shouldn't use her clean house as a stick to beat myself up with. And when I look at what delightful people my children have grown up to be, I'm glad I chose to make cookies and organize plays because just being with all my children has been the funnest time of my life. I don't regret the dirty toilets over the years. Still I've always worried about the fact that I have a dirty house. Probably always will.
ReplyDeleteI think its very human to measure progress by physical indicators. We tend to forget that the things that aren't tangible are just as important (if not more so) than the intangible things in life. I just need to be sure I'm praising myself for the things I can't physically measure such as playing with the kids, teaching Calvin a new word, snuggles, my scripture study etc. I agree that your children are pretty delightful people :)
DeleteOh, LOVE this post! Other perks of parenthood besides the things you get to say, and odd moments of rejoicing?
ReplyDeleteWhat you get to hear THEM say!
Things like "Mom, Calvin is dead." Also, "Heatwave takes HIS phone into the water." :-)
I do love the things Calvin says. This morning when I went in to get him up he was actively speaking to his crib bumper (super heros make such good friends). He also had a pretend conversation of the phone with daddy today. He is just starting to use his imagination and it's so sweet!!
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